Self hate photos

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Finished my self hate photographs now ready for screen printing. 

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Hate your self

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Casualy working away on self hate photographs.  Basically printed out photographs of my self and a big black marker pen to show off all the things i hate about my body . This is the first stage for this . As when finished be choosing couple of images to screen print in larger frames.

is this the right path?

Ever sat there and wondered if your going the right way in your carrier? Honestly I’m now sitting in my works canteen area drinking hot chocolate and wondering. What am I doing, where am I going with this . Will I be a somebody 1 day . At least enough of a sombody to provide for my family etc . Now that my youtube chanel is picking up I kind feel inspired to actualy start think what I gona do . Specialy knowing that just 1 year left . Honestly think I just need a bit of goal setting not like one day but bit more realistic . Maybe open a shop . That was good idea at start . But dunno. The joys of wondering mind..

lets measure

I think when starting a work out its important to kind of measure your self and set some goals . You know to keep you motivated and driving you away from snaking . Just need make sure you dnt go totally totally crazy goal and like don’t eat at all or exercise till ur legs fall off lol.

So here is my results :
Top of the arm (the biggest area) : 29cm
Under elbow (the biggest area): 23.5cm
Around breasts: 84cm
Just under breasts: 77cm
Thinnest part of belly: 67.5cm
Fattest part of belly (just under belly button): 84cm
Hips: 89cm
Bum (biggest area): 96cm
Leg top part (biggest area): 58.5cm
Leg bottom part (biggest area): 36cm
Weight: 62.6kg

The goal:
Top of the arm (the biggest area) : 27cm
Under elbow (the biggest area): 22cm
Around breasts: 80cm
Just under breasts: 75cm
Thinnest part of belly: 65cm
Fattest part of belly (just under belly button): 80cm
Hips: 86cm
Bum (biggest area): 94cm
Leg top part (biggest area): 55cm
Leg bottom part (biggest area): 34cm
Weight: 60kg

This is not impossible goal to me as been pretty much it last summer so I’m hoping to repeat it this summer 🙂

f it im blasting out the sauna belt

Ok yesterday I setped on the scale again and believe me I was not happy. I wanted to cry a little and yes I went and had a cokie cos I felt sad wich made it all even worse . But I’m taking action. I’m blasting out sauna belt. It have always been big help for me to feting back to good shape. And I’m wearing it all day today . As am working on my room moving about non stop too . So gets me sweating bit more . Did my everyday work out too . So feel pretty pleased . Sugested work out music ? Bloodhund gang lol no joke . So I’m trying to dance abot just them couple extra movements always helps. I will not lose out on good shapes this sumer . Must do even better than last year ! Feel pleased at moment must say 🙂

feeling thin

unbalievable have happened and for change i actually feel thin. well i did lol. i took this picture just after training
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you ever get feeling when you have good work out u go up to a mirror and think damn i look lots thiner than 2 h ago lol.  i always get that and then have massive breakfast or something. lol.  im just sitting here hoping that one day my  bottom half will look the same as the top half nice skinny and bit muscle here and there too obvious. cos even like today i bought some high waisted shorts they fit well around my legs and bum cheeks but are way tok wide for the waist so will need take them in a tiny bit.  legs always been my bad point,  but next year is the year when i make them nice one way or another

one more year past need new body aka no food after 7 diet

so in my till 22 plan (will write more about it tommarrow) i have 2 points that involve my looks and well i just wana be skinnyer with better legs so i thougt i try out something new with a no food between 7pm and 7am. cos like diet ways im not really fan of them im more of a eat what ever i want but exersise kind person.  but i thought this seemed pretty straight forward and straight to the point.  plus most of that time i would sleep anyway and there be no before sleep munching like i always do.  and just simply stick to drinks.  i think this could go good i thought give it couple weeks see how it goes and if its working then keep it up if not then just try something else 🙂
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its been a year :(

Tommarrow will be exactly a year since I got a tattoo done for my dads 60st . In way can’t believe been so long since I had something done even not a ear piercing or anything feel bit sad about it. Think I might get something little when get my loan even just a piercing just mix it up a bit and then collect some money for something bigger like a tattoo or something cos I do love all the weird things 1 can do to its body but as am kind weird about doing it to my self lol I have to pay some1 to do it and in uk its way way way too expensive so just gues need sort my etsy and find better job lol no london trips and be new tatto time

food guilt?

To me a very very very serious subject when you have a thin person who enjoys the food and after they have this crazy guilt of having it. I hav that like this morning, I woke up cos dad was shouting that dinner is ready yeah we eat prety early like 1 2 ish. Yes I know I slept too long. He didn’t made anything crazy just some mac and chese I well over did it with chese cos felt like there is more cheese than pasta lol. But I enjoid it it was nice but after felt such guilt cos I had that much specialy now that decided I need lose bit belly . And its allways like that. It does make me wonder somethimes that I dnt have some eating disorder cos of it but I guess can call my self lucky that way . Still makes u feel idiotic cos u even consider thinking that ..

but im bored of the same exercise everyday

Dnt know how about rest of u people but if I do start like little everyday work out I do it for like a week and then I’m simply bored of it and get bAck to moaning about my fat as and not doing anything about it. Its like gets to my brain and just refuses to do anything . When it hapens I always try to just simply hav few day brake and try again and if nt works then just try mixing it up a bit and be good for another week lol till it happens again .. Let’s face it never gona get pretty bum lol