To me a very very very serious subject when you have a thin person who enjoys the food and after they have this crazy guilt of having it. I hav that like this morning, I woke up cos dad was shouting that dinner is ready yeah we eat prety early like 1 2 ish. Yes I know I slept too long. He didn’t made anything crazy just some mac and chese I well over did it with chese cos felt like there is more cheese than pasta lol. But I enjoid it it was nice but after felt such guilt cos I had that much specialy now that decided I need lose bit belly . And its allways like that. It does make me wonder somethimes that I dnt have some eating disorder cos of it but I guess can call my self lucky that way . Still makes u feel idiotic cos u even consider thinking that ..
Just hate that feeling I get when I get dressed and I see that my tummy or backside is sticking out and nt in nice way . Like me for example I wear size 6 tops but my botom half is usualy size or 2 biger. It seems small but u know its allways how u as person feel . And I never felt proud of my body top half good to go bottom dear god no . So now as uni is starting ill be more bussy so won’t be able concentrate on food as much. I gona really start geting my self in the shape I want so I feel comfortable in it . In some way I always admired people who feel really good in their skin no matter what size or shape they are and I think that’s wht makes a person beautiful .cos if u feel good about ur self u get further cos u have 1 less thing on ur mind to worry about . Hate the fact that u go down the street or something and people say u look nice etc etc etc u say tnx but in heart u feel like ur just a big blob rolling down the street . So I thought with start of uni I gona try make it better and at least work out at evenings do them 100 sit ups and crunches for the better life we forgot about
So as am out and about and left house way too early decided just go around the town see maybe something good in shops. So i happily walk into new look. As much as i like lots of their stuff i hate their changeing rooms svear to god i never feel that chuby and over all discostingly looking as there. So i want try out this dress happy size 6. I take off my shirt and see my self. I honestly wanted to cry. What the hell they ment help look people look good not like f ing monsters lol. I did ended up buying the little dress but now confidnce down the hill. Todays look not doing it for me any more..