Finished my self hate photographs now ready for screen printing.
you may ask what is stopping one to be truly happy , must say in past couple weeks time i have discovered that it is always people involvement. ill specify that . the people who you may not want to be as involved as they want to be. it feels like ongoing thing couple weeks to get over madness then when you start think oh you know its not to bad . someone comes along and disturbs it again and this vicious circle keeps going on and on and on. its like there is no escaping it. which leads me to think is there really possibility for better life if other people are involved. obvious i want a few people in my life but would it effect their lives for better too if i do something about mine. but lets face it some changes need happen. job for a start would be nice change . but that seem to never to happen. sadly .. but at least uni is going well at moment. went to this art and thereness elective obvious at previous day email argument with the teacher person which was obvious fun but other ways been not too bad have plan with plenty things to do but right now im thinking bit job search shower and pink panther cartoon marathon . that will defo be improvement of my life. hah
So its another saturday morning when I almost miss my work cos trains at least manager people being understanding and letting me get the next train and be at work hour late . Last time I forgot that it starts earlier at saturdays all together so I have improved . Starting uni in 2 weeks too so see how ill manage part time . You know the jobs not bad its easy etc but its been what 2 and half months since started it and I’m extremely bored of it . Like the other day me and my bf were talking about tattoos and I’m quite determined to decorate my hands . He’s like “no chance for u to get a normal job then” you know I dnt want normal job I want excitement I want do something that ill love not miss my train cos I dnt think its ok to get 3h early to get to work . Is it bad to think like that?
So cos bit of emergency I’m now on my way to scotland to save the day . In way at least 1 good thing out this . That well get see my boyfriend sooner than was planed . Besides that fingers crossed that everything goes well. Noone is dieing or anything like that just bit problems with house etc . I just hope tht when get out the train it won’t be as warm as in nottingham . Even now sitting in train obvious had chose the sun side . So happily dieing . At least prepared this time and hoping to spend no money in train . Have my drink and my snacks . And even had breakfast that I almost trew back up lol cos I’m not used to eating just after waking up . But for now nex 6 h can happily relax .
It literary feels like the worst day of my life for start just can’t get my head together and then everything just nt going as smooth as planed . But am finaly on train to work. So getting ther . Dnt like that need go by bus back too so just gona kind ride trough it .just feel like want hit some1 tho . Lol never a good sign. Just want some exitement or something something that be like yeah look at this that a life not this nonsence . Even uni just cudnt start like for every 1 else no that’s too fucking much to ask . Jut rrr not happy 😦
It just feels like 1 them days when u just dnt want to leave the house u just hate it all and u feel like ur outfit totaly reflects that so overly black today with a long sleves crop top from outfiters top shop section, a plain spageti strap top from primark, and pencil skirt (?) From matalan, and my horifieing face on top lol with face deamons totaly killing it lol
I mean why for the love of god I am awake at 8 am . I dnt need to I could sleep at least 2 more hours but no my body doesn’t let me so I can ly here trying to remember what time today I start my dead end job and y wud I even want to go to it . Is this what being adult mean having life that 1 clearly nt enjoys and just roll with it cos that’s how it ment go ? When was little I always wanted to grow up cos thought I’d hav adventures I’d go places do things but no. Whers my adventures ?
so the joy must say receiving your pay check and knowing all your hours are not paid . really not happy . still to write a massive complain about the place and stuff will be updating about it later on now just simply not happy
so was just checking for coments and it showed like 29 in the spam box and without relizing i deleted 27 of them i didnt mean to still dunno what i pressed do hate using my tab as main instrument in sorting blog. will be more carefull after . do apriciate alk the coments as always. tnx