Have i lost it?

Past couple days i have been looking trough my old sketchbooks  from my a levels and foundation level and even from 1st year in university and it seemed that they are more interesting more creative more experimental than anything i do now . Just had this like  a sudden realization that maybe im not as creative as i used to be. Like i now have some kind of restriction despite being more free to do any work i want. In some sense i understand why im not too keen on it. And well that is cos of the hatred towards uni but same time shouldnt that be the place where i actualy express  my feelings into? I cant exactly make my self be relaxed and do work lol . But i think my plan of action is to get a good size sketchbook no a5 nonsensse and start doing it for my self not for uni not for selling and  ot for anything else. Almost out uni anyway sobe plenty time to concentrate on it . I tnink main thing is to get the  mind motivated and be ok

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what happened to the better life plan?

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so was kind sorting some bits in my room today and was thinking last year this time i decided to start a better life plan just by simply improving on the little things starting from working more on my look on the house then on getting a job doing well in school etc etc etc. i just kind seemed to have forgotten about it , and honestly i dnt know why . just seems kind strange that i have. so i thought i should try get back into it , u know actually make effort to do things and seems like i kind of started on it this week as today is 1st day for my challenge and i have been doing uni work every day and u know i do feel better . i did not go to the blood donation today tho cos my dad was not in mood to come with and i dnt like going places like that by my self tbh but we planing to go ether next Monday or next Thursday. will be good :). but i think at moment i need that like a boost to get every thing rolling the way i want to . we all know the little things matter the most meaning if u feel good you will do good . feel positive about this

 

so happy

so unbelievable finally happened and im not ill anymore and i finished my essay, just about to just sit and print it out and be me all ready for tomorrow and my return to society and well wearing anything else besides shirt with a sheep on it lol cos obvious thats so goth lol . miss my lovely platforms. but im on rolle today gona go help my dad with kids too at 5 too so get my exercising back but must thank being ill for past week cos i lost my winter tire too so have good point to start exercising etc. feel pretty positive plus main thing its london time in 2 days so  so soo can wait cant believe its been over an year since last been there. feel well hyped woop

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