losing the look cos have to work?

So since been working have noticed that my look is well losened up even when I’m off work . Hate the fact that have used to wearing lose tops and random trausers . Aint a good look at all . Plus the fact I have no sports activities what so ever thinking that need double up my work outs every day cos I noticed I have been losing weight but I know on this case its my muscle mass nt my fat . I dnt mind the job its a good and easy work but just seems I’m paying for it with my identity ..

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no shame casual ootd

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its just one of them days when u just feel like the more u try to look like someone the worse it gets lol so here is me with my super casual look.  but rocking my new head phones.  (more on them in next post )
top: primark,  3/4 sleve with kind of crochet top part,  wearing size 6
trausers: 24studio.co.uk,  just casual black skinny jeans, wearing size 8
bag: matalan
spikes: gifted

finaly back to work outs

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so its official im in day number 3 of nor,al work out range every day.  so get that fat off and them muscles back cause i want to wear some shorts and i dont want my legs wigling about.  not this year.  thos year is the year for change and good stuff.  so fuck fat lets do this. but must say as alwats as increase the work out load my tummy been grumbling nom stop too so need be aware that i dont stuff, y face with cakes.  ok maybe a tiny bit cake just to say hey i can aford to eat cake lol look at my flat tummy lol one day. hopefully soon. 

new shoes

so i finaly ended up buying some new shoes from office as in sense had no other choice as my platforms are literary fucked and i can not walk in them properly no more as im still month to go till my student loan i decided to just settle for some shoes and then when have time and money buy ones i actualy love.  so i ended up seing these in  office.  i will be doing unboxing video about them.  but i put them on today and as much as i like how the shoes looked by them selves i feel like i hate them.  and i hate them bad time,  its like shoe by its self is great but when its on feel like it makes my legs look mega mega and just i dnt know maybe its just doesnt go with my outfits or something i honestly dont know.  dont you ever get that feeling its weird.  plus when was walking down the street i just felt so normal lol which made me rethink what f ed up image of beautiful i have lol. 

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goths at work

If you have style of your own and u definitely don’t fit in with the norms then unless your lucky at least at 1 point in your life you will have to change being of ur self for couple hours every day to become “appropriate” for the working enviroment. Just because u simply want eat and dnt want live in cardboard box under a bridge. Since I been working since start of the year I feel that despite still having same look outside work it just feels like I’m losing the things and the look that I love and want . I must say in some sence its nice that no 1 overly judges u by way u look and dnt say that ur an idiot just beacuse all ur face is painted or something but same time it sucks so bad I miss my make up and stuff and just simply being able to express your self the way you want and ur left with these f ed up limitations that some1 somewhere have came up with its ridiculous . One can’t be one self this way . no wonder lots of people feel depresed even when they do work in their dream job and are somebody and still feel that they have to be “normal” looking to get somewhere and moment u say what u actualy thing they just show u the door. Think people should try stand ground more for what they want and not what the society asks for . Freedom of expression is needed heavily . Cos otherways we lose our souls and real needs from life

Being a goth for quite a wile now I know how it is to have a pressure to be normal and “fit in” even by the people who always suport u in it they still from time to time sugests to be some1 well normal. I dnt know how it is for other specific style people but to me specialy now when I have to wear uniform to work etc I feel under constant treath of losing my self and the style that I beyondly love and the 1 thing that’s truly mine. And must say its realy realy hard to keep going but I think that people should enjoy standing out and just being them selfs and simply showing that they are more than normal .