the end

so it’s finally officially my last weekend as a student. this is literary it. what gona kill my brains now lol. also starting the next week fresh as a good little person with waking up at 7 to start work at 8. lol i was even thinking about getting a bike so i could roll to the work and save money and get skinny legs at the same time lol definite grown up thinking there. but honestly not sure that can believe that pretty much this is the end for my education at least for this time being. its been very very quick. i feel like now i need find new almost like purpose or even better a goal to aim for till now was to finish uni which now is ticked off just need wait till graduation that’s in september but in sense that just lie  celebration not the end cos the end is now. even got a cute card from my parents and boyfriend graduating me . i thin this is good time to look at my one day list again and see what could be my next big aim in life. its like suddenly all these exiting doors have opened and i wana go thru them all. lol ok im definitely not a grown up yet.

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dnt know what to think. thoughts of the day

so as per any usual day at home i started with some youtube catch up and i recently subscribed to this random goth chick that as per usual as everyone else talks about things and one of her videos she posted recent was about gothic subculture. it literary makes me laugh that according to her perception anyone who doesnt listen to gothic rock is not goth and if they dont and still call them self’s goth then they are almost an error and failed part to the subculture so im like listening to this in pure tears from laughter lol i thought goths ment be pretty open minded lol. i dnt feel any less goth because she said all her saying its just makes me think wtf lol why would one even think these things so obvious me wanting to express my side . i thought i will do a small video about elitism and babybats and all that kind good stuff lol just share my thoughts on it too just cos i simply could. just sometimes i watch these videos and i just dont get why would one do this kind thing. its good to do like ones views on subculture as it is helpfull for people who just gets into it but like keep it that its just your thoughts not that everyone think that to me just instantly shows that person is bit too close minded that they can not imagen that there can be like 10000000000000.. exceptions to anything.

Goth

volunteer open day in wolaton hall

so finaly finally i recieved some responce to the mil.ion emails that i wrote to different companies about intern ships and voluntary work and what else not and nottingham city museums and galleries responded to me inviting me to the volunteer open day so this is what happened.
the open day was held in beautifull wollaton hall.  some people might rcognise it from last batman film as it was mr batmans residence. 
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this beautifull place where i would not mind living lol is on top of a hill surounded by deer park and a masive gardend and a golf course. u know seemed prety straight forward get bus nr 34 from city it has stop right next to one of the gate,  claim the hill and be there but no its too much to ask. well i got to the bus casualy driving away obvious get out a bus stop early needed walk half a mile till the gate.  when i got to the gate there was massive sign stating warning the deer rruting season is on,  they may get very agresive if your in their area. . my first thought i gona get kiiled by an angry deer. always a good way to go.  lol.  so gether my self and start walking up the hill at least only see deer far away in the golf bit but i still keeplooking around and snaping pics cos my phone was not videoing proper just in case i die before i reach the safety of the garden next to the building. cos no deer is alowed there lol
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noticed that all pics have a bit of bluriness to it?i was not for stoping to take a pic cos i dont want to die by a deer killing me lol.  as i got closer to the building there was more people ther so felt a bit safer lol.  when finaly got trough the door there was quite few people out about i was like standing there where do i go till this nice museum lady aproched me saying that i look confused so she just told me to go in the hall bit and wait.  there was about 10 people all together for this open day.  they took as all trough to this small room like a mini library bit realy nice room where we got like a small presentation of all the volunteer projects happening then they gave us like 15 minutes to have some tea and cookies wile we fill in forms if not done so before they had really nice chocolate ones must note lol then they gaves us all times to come back for 1 to 1 interview.  i had about half an hour to wait so i just quickly went trought the museum bit. first i saw these amazing stuffed birds they had like all these differnt things really reminded me of the natural history museum in latvia that i used to love as little kid. 
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as i have been there only like 1 time i didnt knew the joys of this place i wen to go upstairs oh god the walls and celling around the stair case was masive paintings just gorgeous. 
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and this beauty lead me to the incect section
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and there even was i little room of all these different kinds of rocks
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and im like omg its amazing but hey there is more.  there was this like africa section if u will. 
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when you walked trough it it kind gave feeling of being there was kind weird its quite small area but was well cool.  lastly i went in this room with some more amazing taxidermy and all related things as there was even a bit where you can learn how its done etc.  and i spied this little frog skeleton.
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i really wanted get 1 of these and i probably will treat my self for christmas hehe its just perfect. but back to the open day lol. i went back to the room to talk with this lady she just asked me couple more questions about my self like what could i give as a worker there lol and talk about how much i love working in teams lol still makes me laugh but i was totaly puling the serious face lol.  and now pretty much i just need wait till they contavt my refrences to make sure im safe lol.  and be me volunteering sadly not in this beautiful place but in here
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its a life in nottingham museum well about life in nottingham in like past which i thought still would be fab as im in love with museums. period. so just see how it goes 🙂

as goth how i feel people look at me ?

People always seem to ask me what do I think of how other people usualy react towards my look and how do I deal with it etc. My usual responce is I dnt really respond to it . Like I dnt care enough about the peoples thoughts on it and as I dnt care I dnt need deal with it lol obvious its nice if some 1 says that I look different and nice etc like in a lovely way but if its said in bad way I dnt really take notice of it because well clearly I’m stilla s important to them for them to actually say something lol. There is exactly 4 people in this word who’s opinion in my mind matters its my parents as they allways been suporting me and they always been there for me nomather what’s my choices same with my best friend and my boyfriend who is kind like my best friend to and every1 else can kind think what they want I apriciate the opinions of other people but sorry but I dnt care for them as much to adjust my self or how I look or act or what ever else I feel if one stands ones ground then one will get further rather than just being a wana be obvious I am kind a wanabe but then again we all are cos just way it is . But over all I dnt feel you should need to even respond to anyone who doesn’t matter to you and they trying give you nonsence comments . I’m my eye its like why bother they dnt care about you why should you care about them ?