reality

past couple days been thinking about the internet and the realization of people with in it. basically like a  week ago me and my boyfriend was shopping around charity shops as we were looking about this girl approached me and said she watches my video etc and obvious me totally failing got supper shy etc and all i could do is blush and say thanks. the more i thought about this the more it kind of makes me realize the 5000 people flowing me on youtube are actual people lol its like suddenly they have a face it’s no more just a number on my screen. i just dont know. its like my brain have had sudden realization there is people there not just me rumbling about nothing . must say it was great feeling to be a somebody for 2 seconds.

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Interview . Day 2?

If you seen my last post it was about me going to a job interview  in this caffe. So good things happened and they called me yesterday saying i  need to attend this kind of interview but like a more practical based. So here i am sittig in nero drinking milkshake as im 1 the  people who Arive supper early so have another 20 min to kill before i even walk over to the place. Must say pretty exited. Guess this kind means they liked me and put me forward so one more day to do and hopefully job will be mine. I think they are taking more than 1 person on so at least more chances of getting it. Will need work my bumcheeks off for wile tho so all bills payed off etc . But i liked that if i do stay here i can turn the job in full time if i decide to stay there after i finish uni . So pretty pleSed. Plus early shifts mean i can easily be in uni by 12 or 1 oco0lock. Only thing they said i can be put anywhere in the work space like 1 day i could be in the till next in the kitchen . But at least gives me like people expierences too . Till i punch some old woman for trying to buy an over priced muffin lol .

Thanks for all the people who wished me luck and keeped fingers crossed for  me 🙂

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Will things become better?

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Just got good news from my mum she got the job she just so happy now . Wich makes me feel like things gona change and turn for better at least for now. Just my boyfriend to charm the interview people and we be on a role . So fingers crossed for that well forgoten better life . Just thouht i share a goodness of the day .

why cant one have the better life?

you may ask what is stopping one to be truly happy , must say in past couple weeks time i have discovered that it is always people involvement. ill specify that . the people who you may not want to be as involved as they want to be. it feels like ongoing thing couple weeks to get over madness then when you start think oh you know its not to bad . someone comes along and disturbs it again and this vicious circle keeps going on and on and on. its like there is no escaping it. which leads me to think is there really possibility for better life if other people are involved. obvious i want a few people in my life but would it effect their lives for better too if i do something about mine. but lets face it some changes need happen. job for a start would be nice change . but that seem to never to happen. sadly .. but at least uni is going well at moment. went to this art and thereness elective obvious at previous day email argument with the teacher person which was obvious fun but other ways been not too bad have plan with plenty things to do but right now im thinking bit job search shower and pink panther cartoon marathon . that will defo be improvement of my life. hah

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30 day blogging challenge day 6

Day 6 : photo of someone you would like to trade places for a day

For some reason have thought of this before and always wondered how the powerful mids work . For some reason specialy in politics . Not so much now but say war times . Always wondered what gone trough the persons mind why they doing these things what they hope to get . So I’d love to trade places with some1 like that .

30 day blogging challenge: day 6

Day 6: what are you afraid of?

This seemed like really easy question cause I can straight answer it without thinking . There is 2 things that I’m heavily afraid of

1. Losing people I love. Not only as in sense that something would happen to them but in sense that something would happen and they wouldn’t want me in their life for what ever reason. Its just a hurtful process no-one wana go trough.

2. Water as in sea oceans and massive wave. That stuff scares the life out me and if I have nightmares at night its always some big ass wave killing me lol so no I don’t do water .

30 day random blog challenge day 8: 3 things that u want say to 3 different people

As being a polite person that literary never swears it feels like its time to express the hiden feelings and tell 3 things I’d like to say to 3 people without anyone knowing who they are lol. Good for me.
1. Fuck you
2. Fuck you
3. Fuck you too

That’s about it . Pure and simple lol

as goth how i feel people look at me ?

People always seem to ask me what do I think of how other people usualy react towards my look and how do I deal with it etc. My usual responce is I dnt really respond to it . Like I dnt care enough about the peoples thoughts on it and as I dnt care I dnt need deal with it lol obvious its nice if some 1 says that I look different and nice etc like in a lovely way but if its said in bad way I dnt really take notice of it because well clearly I’m stilla s important to them for them to actually say something lol. There is exactly 4 people in this word who’s opinion in my mind matters its my parents as they allways been suporting me and they always been there for me nomather what’s my choices same with my best friend and my boyfriend who is kind like my best friend to and every1 else can kind think what they want I apriciate the opinions of other people but sorry but I dnt care for them as much to adjust my self or how I look or act or what ever else I feel if one stands ones ground then one will get further rather than just being a wana be obvious I am kind a wanabe but then again we all are cos just way it is . But over all I dnt feel you should need to even respond to anyone who doesn’t matter to you and they trying give you nonsence comments . I’m my eye its like why bother they dnt care about you why should you care about them ?