the end

so it’s finally officially my last weekend as a student. this is literary it. what gona kill my brains now lol. also starting the next week fresh as a good little person with waking up at 7 to start work at 8. lol i was even thinking about getting a bike so i could roll to the work and save money and get skinny legs at the same time lol definite grown up thinking there. but honestly not sure that can believe that pretty much this is the end for my education at least for this time being. its been very very quick. i feel like now i need find new almost like purpose or even better a goal to aim for till now was to finish uni which now is ticked off just need wait till graduation that’s in september but in sense that just lie  celebration not the end cos the end is now. even got a cute card from my parents and boyfriend graduating me . i thin this is good time to look at my one day list again and see what could be my next big aim in life. its like suddenly all these exiting doors have opened and i wana go thru them all. lol ok im definitely not a grown up yet.


why cant one have the better life?

you may ask what is stopping one to be truly happy , must say in past couple weeks time i have discovered that it is always people involvement. ill specify that . the people who you may not want to be as involved as they want to be. it feels like ongoing thing couple weeks to get over madness then when you start think oh you know its not to bad . someone comes along and disturbs it again and this vicious circle keeps going on and on and on. its like there is no escaping it. which leads me to think is there really possibility for better life if other people are involved. obvious i want a few people in my life but would it effect their lives for better too if i do something about mine. but lets face it some changes need happen. job for a start would be nice change . but that seem to never to happen. sadly .. but at least uni is going well at moment. went to this art and thereness elective obvious at previous day email argument with the teacher person which was obvious fun but other ways been not too bad have plan with plenty things to do but right now im thinking bit job search shower and pink panther cartoon marathon . that will defo be improvement of my life. hah


the list

As I previously mentioned , every year I make a list of things I want to do till my next birth day, so as I got a new beautiful planer I thought its time to start working on it . Most of the bits are doable and must be done but some are a bit out there just to keep me motivated . At moment have 17 points obvious ill probably add something at some point but this is what I have now

Finish 3rd year in university (kind of obvious need finish what started )

Find a job (cos being poor is no fun)

Find an apartment (this is a biggy. But honestly feel ready and good to go)

The good measurements (work out my insides get skinny again)

Go to london x5 (must go london see people . 1 time already down)

Go for a massage (why not never been for a professional massage)

Go on a trip (holliday , call it how ever you want it but it must involve plains and definitely not involve latvia lol)

Buy the good perfume (yes dior all the way . Been a while)

Buy the good bag (I think these 2 points will encourage me to work more)

Join gym (want to get skinny again)

Pierce ears x2 (need get them ears finished finally I mean been over a year since my last piercing)

Get a tattoo x3 (so many planed so need get some finally done)

Get 6000 flowers on youtube (I managed 3000 last year so another year another 3000?)

Sell hand made things x30 (need money)
Take part in art contests x4 (need get noticed)

Read a book x30 (really want to get into reading more so thought I put it in the list)

No more junk food ( want get skinny . So far failing lol)

This is my list so far . Hope it gives you some ideas maybe for your new years resolutions . Any suggestions be sure to leave comment

what happened to the better life plan?


so was kind sorting some bits in my room today and was thinking last year this time i decided to start a better life plan just by simply improving on the little things starting from working more on my look on the house then on getting a job doing well in school etc etc etc. i just kind seemed to have forgotten about it , and honestly i dnt know why . just seems kind strange that i have. so i thought i should try get back into it , u know actually make effort to do things and seems like i kind of started on it this week as today is 1st day for my challenge and i have been doing uni work every day and u know i do feel better . i did not go to the blood donation today tho cos my dad was not in mood to come with and i dnt like going places like that by my self tbh but we planing to go ether next Monday or next Thursday. will be good :). but i think at moment i need that like a boost to get every thing rolling the way i want to . we all know the little things matter the most meaning if u feel good you will do good . feel positive about this


till i turn 22 list

so every year as i have my birthday i write a small list of things that i wana do till my next birth day in sence like new years resolution list.  its usualy obvious things and achievable things notting super crazy. just kind be always there in my face and remind me of what needs be done.  here what i have so far i just think its great motivator so u get them little things u want done. 

* finish the 2nd year in university.  hopefully with improved grades too. lol
* find a job. as once again im job less and with no money i really need find 1
* pierce my ears at least 2 times. can u imagene its been over a year since well anything.  not the way to go def need be done
* get a tattoo.  as i have quite few ideas for what i want and i am going to latvia next summer for my friends graduation i think i should get something done. 
*go for holliday somewhere. its been forever since i been somewhere nice so df would not mind going somewhere even for like couple days. 
* the wanted mesurments.  yes for my body i wana slim down i want be proud of how i look
*get a great backside. go with the previous point. i hate my  bum.  i want it to look hot not the way it looks
* sell at least 10 pieces of art work.  u know try earn a bit and get my self out there
* take part in at least 10 contests.  obvious art related and i have already applied for two so off to a good start. 
and last but not least * go to london at least 5 times. as minimum. god i miss london so much its crazy i just want the grand city life

this is what i have so far sometimes i add some bits trough the year but this is my basic start.  do sugest doing that cos its fun and it gives you some random just you related goals 

never goes acording to plan

Clear proof noting goes acording to plan I tried to google sad face for a sad blog instead I googled sand face. Lol close enough. Just feel bit yuck this evening tired and well I was ment go scotland tomarrow but some bits and bobs nt going acording to plan so needed make change and go thurstday. I know I know its only one day at least that’s what people tell me . But u know when u havnt seen ur loved one for really long time and yes it been 3 months can’t even type it with out tearing up. Then that 1 day matters . Just feel bit kicked out place. Just miss him so fucking much I litterary losing my mind. My advice do not fall in love u will end up crying . One way or another . U know when u want it all magical and something always always kills it and u feel horible cos u just want be with that one person. Just 1 moment is that much to ask ? Lol clearly is. I hate it. Just need some love and joy .

So was thinking first thing I should do is sort my self if 1 look good 1 feels good and does good things . So I thought I shall clear out my closet clear out clothes I dnt wear sell them get some pocket money in way too and get rid stuff to bring new and more exiting in. 🙂 def have way too much stuff lol but this is the way forward

better life

since went to latvia i feel like i had chance to think trough things that are happening in my life and in some sense look at them from different point and u know actually see the bad bits and the good not all mixed in big bobble called life . (keep getting distracted from writing this as think can smell gas.. nt good sign) so i decided i need work on the good stuff and make it even better ,u know make that one day list actually happen. become a somebody, a real person. so i thought i should start by sorting my self. work on my beauty routine health and fitness. as if one feels happy can make the rest the things go good too . first thing to do is well make a plan . bit by bit . yeah not every one make a plan to make a plan lol but thats erm my plan? and sort everything bit by bit and get that better life every one dreams of but not just as dreams but as my life 🙂