Started the day with email from uni saying how my attendance is low and I should fill this form in if I been sick wich I obviously havent been , I just kind of lost my concentration on the idea of university again. Its like I am doing the work etc its not like im doing f all . I just find it stupid to spend 15 ponds for 15 minutes of teChing. Its crazy to my mind , but hey maybe its just me. But besides this I feel like im doing quite ok for change . At least in uni. Even have final work planed and everything . And even more unbalievable I came up with idea for things to sell too . As I love my collor paintings . I thought I could do smallpaintkngs of like flowers and genraly nice things lol . With an s&m ponny trown in here or there so at least in this . I embRce the new better life. But where it co es to other bits well just need see how its going ..
At least the pony is painted so just to get hanged on the wall when get in after that the hour to kill till another group critique . Always feel like people are not completely honest with me about my work .instead of saying I don’t like that its extremely offensive just take it off your wall they try to find some weird deep meaning to what’s what . I’m not drawing a fetish pony cos I have weird urge to see dressed up horses , I do it cos the sketch of a gas mask for horses turned out good and I wanted to take it to the next artsy level. but hey according to my art tutors its not good enough to base idea on. I still sometimes wonder have I wasted 3 years of my life with doing a fine art course . In college it was different, I actually felt like I’m learning something where here I’m not too sure I actually have. Besides obviously improving my hatred towards group activities and possibly putting me off ever wanting take part in group exhibition . Pretty sure its not what I’m meant to be learning here . But on the bright note . Its my birth day tomorrow and ill be nice and far away from this hell hole . At least for a day to get my head together . Feeling pleased