Casualy working away on self hate photographs. Basically printed out photographs of my self and a big black marker pen to show off all the things i hate about my body . This is the first stage for this . As when finished be choosing couple of images to screen print in larger frames.
it will be my 22nd birth day next tuesday (25th november) and honestly i have never looked more forward to my birthday in my life. well for starters my parents gifted me a trip for me and my boyfriend to go to london which im super sicked about as been months upon months since last been there. come to think of it last time i was in london was january… disappointing all the way. but at least have ticket now so am good to go . without a plan yet tho as need consult my boyfriend and pretend we will do things he wants lol. but going back to birthday idea. bit background – every year since who knows when i have made a list of things i want to do that year . usually trying keep it realistic and just adding couple crazy ones to keep me motivated obviously i have never completed the whole list . in my brain its kind of impossible but for a change i actually feel like i could do it this year . i will post the final list on here when its done as still feel like couple bits need be added. plus for this years list i decided to mix it up and trow in some random mini goals, i think thats why i feel it will be easier achieve all of the things on there . so fir now next 2 days ill be for start working my ass off to finish my dissertation draft as need be handed in monday morning and will be enjoying extra binging on food and other bits that will be cut out after my birthday day to achieve some of my goals.
another thing i wanted to mention , i have not posted anything for a month here but i have been posting on my youtube channel . even was a bussy bee today and added new video this morning ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8uXMYMQmxM&feature=youtu.be ) but now on to typing the essay .
little vlog about positive thinking and rat skulls lol random i know
Today is friday the 20st of june, my official name day , as mentioned before yes we are latvians we are freaks and we celebrate name days lol . So let’s rise our drinks to me lol. Just been kind drinking tea from my new tea cup/pot that my parents gifted me along with this super soft trow with same flower theme . Will prob make haul some point in next couple day to share the good stuff . But back to siting thinking and drinking lol. You know getting that feeling hmm another year past . And done f all with my life lol as per usual . Looking back havnt been that bad of year tbh . If nothing at least have started my youtubeing properly and enjoying it and printing slowly starting too . Feels like was year for starting things out . Is that good ? Dunno . But we are keeping it positive with the salad thing and bbq later on and chocolate cake too . So must say can’t complain. Food and gifts defo a good combination haha
day 25 : your biggest regret
hmm besides couple really personal things that i dont really want to disclose dnt feel i regret much of my life. maybe i should have done more like with school. like little regret that i didnt try enough and maybe have been started to become a somebody by now. but dunno tbh. i always try to do things so i wouldnt regret them latter. feel like im a bit young to have major major regrets about something. maybe thats y i dont feel i do have it like that. honestly dont know.
so unbelievable finally happened and im not ill anymore and i finished my essay, just about to just sit and print it out and be me all ready for tomorrow and my return to society and well wearing anything else besides shirt with a sheep on it lol cos obvious thats so goth lol . miss my lovely platforms. but im on rolle today gona go help my dad with kids too at 5 too so get my exercising back but must thank being ill for past week cos i lost my winter tire too so have good point to start exercising etc. feel pretty positive plus main thing its london time in 2 days so so soo can wait cant believe its been over an year since last been there. feel well hyped woop
So my 21st birth day on 25th november and usualy I gift my self a day trip to london just me relaxing from the world but this year money well tight so need kind go with out it . So I thought what else could I gift my self so I thought maybe I could get my other eyebrow pierced as been thinking about it for wile as feel having only 1 done doesn’t mach up lol yeah clear signs of craziness lol as I know from before its no troble at all and is in cheep end and doesn’t hurt at all so this comes in as 1st idea for a gift for my self 🙂
since went to latvia i feel like i had chance to think trough things that are happening in my life and in some sense look at them from different point and u know actually see the bad bits and the good not all mixed in big bobble called life . (keep getting distracted from writing this as think can smell gas.. nt good sign) so i decided i need work on the good stuff and make it even better ,u know make that one day list actually happen. become a somebody, a real person. so i thought i should start by sorting my self. work on my beauty routine health and fitness. as if one feels happy can make the rest the things go good too . first thing to do is well make a plan . bit by bit . yeah not every one make a plan to make a plan lol but thats erm my plan? and sort everything bit by bit and get that better life every one dreams of but not just as dreams but as my life 🙂