Have i lost it?

Past couple days i have been looking trough my old sketchbooks  from my a levels and foundation level and even from 1st year in university and it seemed that they are more interesting more creative more experimental than anything i do now . Just had this like  a sudden realization that maybe im not as creative as i used to be. Like i now have some kind of restriction despite being more free to do any work i want. In some sense i understand why im not too keen on it. And well that is cos of the hatred towards uni but same time shouldnt that be the place where i actualy express  my feelings into? I cant exactly make my self be relaxed and do work lol . But i think my plan of action is to get a good size sketchbook no a5 nonsensse and start doing it for my self not for uni not for selling and  ot for anything else. Almost out uni anyway sobe plenty time to concentrate on it . I tnink main thing is to get the  mind motivated and be ok

uni starting..

So its another saturday morning when I almost miss my work cos trains at least manager people being understanding and letting me get the next train and be at work hour late . Last time I forgot that it starts earlier at saturdays all together so I have improved . Starting uni in 2 weeks too so see how ill manage part time . You know the jobs not bad its easy etc but its been what 2 and half months since started it and I’m extremely bored of it . Like the other day me and my bf were talking about tattoos and I’m quite determined to decorate my hands . He’s like “no chance for u to get a normal job then” you know I dnt want normal job I want excitement I want do something that ill love not miss my train cos I dnt think its ok to get 3h early to get to work . Is it bad to think like that?

i want to be skinny again

This is it yesterday it struck me heavily . I’m fat again. I hate it . Cos work I dnt have time to work out at day time and at evening I’m usually too tired to be bothered to do anything yet it does not stop me eating like a little piggy . So I think its time to take action. I gona cut down munch for everything I eat ill do 10 squats like did in good old days . And need come up with routine that can actually work for evening time rather than just skipping it . Like kate moss said nothing tastes as good as skinny feels . Could not agree with that more. So I think its time for action . Finaly .

30 day blogging challenge: day 10

Day 10: best trip of your life
So this is not even a question. Best trip of my life so far is me and my mum first time in london. I think I was 12ish. And honestly it totally changed my life . I was so so amazed by literary everything there and since then there is no other place I wana travel to obvious a major exception being new york lol. But u know what I mean. Its just amazing the city never sleeps there is literary no other place for me 🙂

my christmas

are you same as me from some them weird people that celebrate christmas at christmas eve?  in this sence specialy like kid i never got the getting up in morning and getting your gifts cos you already got them the previous night.  but u know for me its not so much about gifts i just like that i can get together with mum and dad have a lovely meal have a laugh etc just nice family thing. i like that.   its alabout the christmas spirit.  i know i have been tough year etc but it was nice had some yummy food and chatted away.  sadly my bf couldnt join us this year cos his work and some other bits but at least get see him soon anyway so its all not that bad. all this did happen on 24th and traditionaly i always spend 25th as lazy as posible.  the less i move the better.  its food and films all the way.  and now that im finaly alive with my insides killing me cos too much food i feel like i can take on the day,  start on my uni stuff on bits that need be finished etc.  see i can act like an adult if i need to lol.  tomarrow tho will need leave the house cos need get some bits and bobs for the lady that always comes visit us over the new years.  shes like a family friend.  well look forward to that.  must say over all its been pretty good.  🙂

me tattooing my own ankle . it hurt as hell but for first time think done pretty well

2nd time

so yesterday evening after long day it was 2nd time of me holding the tattoo gun and this is what i ended up with. 

yes its my own ankle.  this pic was taken just just after being done so looks bit wonky cos ceam etc but i thing for first time i did pretty good.  i just wanted try out how it is u know,  so i thought should go with something small and straight forward i thought just put something around ankle so i did this drawingfree hand thought yeah that looks nice thought i collor it in too. i knew lots people have said it hurts really bad in this area but i was like how bad can it be lol.  and oh god i regreted those words moment the needle tuched my skin. i didnt cry but damn it hurt lol.  i drew the first line i was like oh dear lord lol but u know u have 1 line u cant stop now lol so just went with it.  i gona let it heal and then see if can at least darken the spikes a bit if not fill it in cos i like it this way cos thought if i color it in it be bit too manly if you know what i mean.

i did filmed me making it.  ill post it up in next couple days maybe even tuday duno cos internet on my laptop does not seem to work properly so bear with me. 

i was thi king maybe do like little video about tattoos and my expierences with them.  maybe someone whould find it useful.  🙂

no shame ootd

so just thought i should get back on sharing outfits of the day.  i thought ill do one every day even in days like today when im just at home doing what ever looking tragic.  if this been few months ago id be like yeah i can pulk this off now its like girl put some clothes on lol

dark green/blue leggings and gray crop top both from primark.   think primark is great for clothes that unknow will get damaged etc cos they are cheep so u dnt feel guilty when they get something on them or get ripped up or something. 

really need start work out again. .

30 day random blog challenge day 16. if world would end tomarrow what would you do with your remining time on earth?

Well tbh It wouldn’t be anything diff from most people . I’d prob just show my love and care about the main people and just do some thing crazy for 1 last time and be happy . 🙂

just the pictures taken for my uni project as needed images to make prints out of and this is what i got 🙂