So hee i am standing looking at the empty space i call my final wall to hand in kind stuff . And all these thoughts run trough my mind like how much i want to trow everyone’s stuff in the bin cos they have chosen to leave it next to my space . How much i want to go home, how much i dont want discuss how empty my wall is with the rest of the group . Sometimes i just dont want to even remotely socialize with the people around me . I know im a bad person but i just dont care . I dont care even this much of how everyone elses work is going and how have they made or not made progress and it just goes against my morals to go fundraise for an exibitin that will take place in university where i already pay 9000 pounds a year for to give them more publicity on my cost . Honestly i ill rather shoot my self lol . Yes i am being extremely negative about this but i cant be f ed to deal with this . We meant to become independent artists etc etc etc yet everything is based on working with people not by your self but in a group . I just can not take it no more ..
Todays job . Blank wall.. its great to fail . Cant do f all today . But at least came in printed everything that needed to be printed and painted my wall so thought time head home . A bit to write up when on way to notts. Just feel quite yuck the smell of cheap emulsion is literary killing my insides and i just feel like trowing up. But have no time to be ill . Thought if vet home early then can try sort bits for essay and some other that just need be finished tomarrow frame shopping. Hopefuly cheeply. Is this a geat day… far off . Honestly i think i just need proper sleep the joy of nightmares is not really helping my madness so just rolling with it i gues,,
day 21 : what makes you sad
well im usualy trying to be pretty positive about things and what ever is happening eyc. with all the there is something good in everything thats bad motivation but things that mainly make me sad is seeing people i love being upset or simply unhappy about something. thats usualy the thing thats gets to me if can pass everything else thats one thing that kind makes me think about things.
just small rant about uni