the end

so it’s finally officially my last weekend as a student. this is literary it. what gona kill my brains now lol. also starting the next week fresh as a good little person with waking up at 7 to start work at 8. lol i was even thinking about getting a bike so i could roll to the work and save money and get skinny legs at the same time lol definite grown up thinking there. but honestly not sure that can believe that pretty much this is the end for my education at least for this time being. its been very very quick. i feel like now i need find new almost like purpose or even better a goal to aim for till now was to finish uni which now is ticked off just need wait till graduation that’s in september but in sense that just lie  celebration not the end cos the end is now. even got a cute card from my parents and boyfriend graduating me . i thin this is good time to look at my one day list again and see what could be my next big aim in life. its like suddenly all these exiting doors have opened and i wana go thru them all. lol ok im definitely not a grown up yet.

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the new group

unbelievable things happen sometimes i guess. well to make it short in uni we had to divide in groups between us and prepare things for a mini exhibition which is pretty much like a mini try out of ideas to prep for the final end of the year show. so trough this all stuff i was added to this group of differences and before i even got to join properly i was trown out . lol so on that note i was set to make my own group and with my boyfriends kind encouragement . i kind of ened up rallying this other girl into making a new group and this weird guy ended up joining us too. so now im actualy feel pretty good about the upcoming stuff. as we need make like an webpage and other bits and bobs to do . so once in my life i actualy feel good about the progress of my uni stuff lol . just wanted to share it

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Could this count as art?

The art ended when the printers ink ended. So half of the work done and half just hanging about . But in the end at least got a bit done so its all not lost . Started on the color squares for the writing to be added after as want to screen print this too. As per usual. Think cant do anything without screen printing these days . Where before thouht i gona do painting etc. Still do a bit but it doesnt give me the same satisfiction as the screen printing does . Guess i just have grown to it. Over all think be ready for long week jn print room . But time goes quick when your having fun. So defo looking forward to this. Just hope turns out the way wanted .

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Change in thoughts

So hee i am standing looking at the empty space i call my final wall to hand in kind stuff . And all these thoughts  run trough my mind like how much i want to trow everyone’s  stuff in the bin cos they have chosen to leave it next to my space . How much i want to go home, how much i dont want discuss how empty my wall is with the rest of the group . Sometimes i just dont want to even remotely  socialize with the people around me . I know im a bad person but i just dont care . I dont care even this much of how everyone elses work is going and how have they made or not made progress and it just goes against my morals to go fundraise for an exibitin that will take place in university where i already pay 9000 pounds a year for to give them more publicity  on my cost . Honestly i ill rather shoot my self lol . Yes i am being extremely  negative about this but i cant be f ed to deal with this . We meant to become independent artists etc etc etc yet everything is based on working with people not by your self but in a group . I just can not take it no more ..

Mail sent lets do things

Sent out the pack for my lovely giveaway winner so thats atleast done . Still so much to do for uni specialy but seems like I just do everything else instead. But im determined to get stuff done im even ticking things off in the list . Just waiting for my mum to leave so can pack up the christmas gifts too so thats out of the way . Till then tho seems like I meant to bee a pillow for tiny cat poor thing seems frozen . Got love  tiny cat she so cute

Tried to add picture but word press just not letting me so just posted it on my instagram @disspossable . Feels like it gona be long day today so better get going .. another day at home . Oh the life I lead

So my attendance is low

Started the day with email from uni saying how my attendance is low and I should fill this form in if I been sick wich I obviously havent been , I just kind of lost my concentration on the idea of university again. Its like I am doing the work etc its not like im doing f all . I just find it stupid to spend 15 ponds for 15 minutes of teChing.  Its crazy to my mind , but hey maybe its just me. But besides this I feel like im doing quite ok for change . At least in uni. Even have final work planed and everything . And even more unbalievable I came up with idea for things to sell too . As I love my collor paintings . I thought I could do smallpaintkngs of like flowers and genraly nice things lol . With an s&m ponny trown in here or there  so at least in this . I embRce the new better life. But where it co es to other bits well just need see how its going ..

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the s&m pony

At least the pony is painted so just to get hanged on the wall when get in after that the hour to kill till another group critique . Always feel like people are not completely honest with me about my work .instead of saying I don’t like that its extremely offensive just take it off your wall they try to find some weird deep meaning to what’s what . I’m not drawing a fetish pony cos I have weird urge to see dressed up horses , I do it cos the sketch of a gas mask for horses turned out good and I wanted to take it to the next artsy level. but hey according to my art tutors its not good enough to base idea on. I still sometimes wonder have I wasted 3 years of my life with doing a fine art course . In college it was different, I actually felt like I’m learning something where here I’m not too sure I actually have. Besides obviously improving my hatred towards group activities and possibly putting me off ever wanting take part in group exhibition . Pretty sure its not what I’m meant to be learning here . But on the bright note . Its my birth day tomorrow and ill be nice and far away from this hell hole . At least for a day to get my head together . Feeling pleased