the diet and working out have finaly started

So I have finally officially started with my getting in shape for summer diet and work out . Same as last year I will be using noom coach app on my tablet as bit guide as then I can record my intake and I always feel bit guilty if I do eat more than its “allowed” to. So it kind encourages it . And you can set it up about how much u wana lose and all that kind good stuff making it easy for u. I do suggest it If u want bit of something that would help u with diet . And as always exercise every day and be ok lol. I did feel like I gona die tonite just doing the sit ups but I’m doing it I want my flat belly back and see if can make my legs better looking too. I will post more on actual exercise as the days go on so I can give some ideas to you too . 🙂

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thoughts on weight and stuff

so must say it have recently struck me down bad time. i have a winter tire and im really not happy about it.  i noticed even when was in scotland at my boyfriends i felt really shy about it and if i had just like my bra on or a short top and i had to sit down i put my arms around my self to kind cover my belly.  and i honestly avoid mirrors.  i have a large mirror in my closet and if i have change clothes or something my back is always turned to it.  i feel ok if everythings covered but if need show skin then its like nooo…  just feels like some weird mental thing or something.  but i dnt know just gona try work out every moment i get and cut down on crazy much and portion sizes.  cos i felt so good last summer where now i litterary feel like a fatass.  and im not ok with it and something need be done.  so today gona mesure everything and see what needs improvements the most and then just work out. all the time. specialy now when the uni is practicaly done, 

so heres a pic of me.  no shame. but wearing my new top from h&m. got it yesterday well pleased.

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so happy

so unbelievable finally happened and im not ill anymore and i finished my essay, just about to just sit and print it out and be me all ready for tomorrow and my return to society and well wearing anything else besides shirt with a sheep on it lol cos obvious thats so goth lol . miss my lovely platforms. but im on rolle today gona go help my dad with kids too at 5 too so get my exercising back but must thank being ill for past week cos i lost my winter tire too so have good point to start exercising etc. feel pretty positive plus main thing its london time in 2 days so  so soo can wait cant believe its been over an year since last been there. feel well hyped woop

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food guilt?

To me a very very very serious subject when you have a thin person who enjoys the food and after they have this crazy guilt of having it. I hav that like this morning, I woke up cos dad was shouting that dinner is ready yeah we eat prety early like 1 2 ish. Yes I know I slept too long. He didn’t made anything crazy just some mac and chese I well over did it with chese cos felt like there is more cheese than pasta lol. But I enjoid it it was nice but after felt such guilt cos I had that much specialy now that decided I need lose bit belly . And its allways like that. It does make me wonder somethimes that I dnt have some eating disorder cos of it but I guess can call my self lucky that way . Still makes u feel idiotic cos u even consider thinking that ..

Still being stressed out about the swim suit wearing later on this month when will be in latvia and will hav chance to go to the beach. When was in scotland I decided that when get back ill exersise everyday etc etc which well clearly isn’t happening cos its to warm and I just dnt want to move pure and simple so I thought of better way I cud be losing weight but still doing and eating most things I like . So its pure and simple no more sweeties . It is bit hard specialy if ur sweety lover like my self where at some points it just seems it candy I eat all day so I thought if I dich the sweets and let the pounds drop. Been going sweet free for just over a week and must say 2 cms off my waist and I’m back to magical 66cms but my legs still need lots work so no sweeties for me do sugest try this if u want to lose bit weight without actualy trying 🙂